Desperate Duggars to offer walking tours of Michelle’s birth canal

The Duggers

Tontitown, AR  —  In an effort to recoup financial loses due the cancellation of “19 Kids and Counting”, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have decided to offer walking tours of her ginormous birth canal.

“People just don’t understand how neat it is in there.   I’m very fortunate that Michelle lets me spend some time in the canal.  It’s a special place that people would not normally be able to experience.  I go there often to pray and to spray some Pam where needed.”

The tours will be self-guided audio tours and will include some fun facts, like the speed and acceleration of each of the Duggar children as they shot through the “holiest place in Arkansas.”

Although excited about the new income stream, the Duggars have had to deal with Michelle’s canal being “unavailable” for the almost constant intercourse they are used to having.   “We’ve definitely had to cut down a bit.”  Says Jim Bob,  “but I’m hoping to get in there before the first tour of the day and immediately after the last tour.”

The tours are set to begin in the new year, and tickets can be purchased for $20 in advance or $25 at the, …ah, entrance.


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