Geneva, Switzerland — A new study published in the Journal of Darwinian Studies shows that men willing to escalate other men above themselves will soon remove themselves from the gene pool. Geneticists who conducted the study were not sure why men would idolize other men that they have never met, but stressed that, in the end, it would not matter.
“They will be gone within a few generations” said study author Brandy Manning. “Potential female mates for these men will eventually see that these men are practically begging them to notice smarter, larger, and more successful men.
According to Manning, the subjects are effectively saying to potential mates “I’m kind of a loser, but this guy, this guy who’s name is on my back… he’s fucking awesome! You should probably try to mate with him”
Most of the subjects of the study came from the sporting world where it is very common for men to proclaim their affections for other men by wearing the objects name on their clothing. Their inability to attract a mate not only stemmed from idolizing other strange men, but also the need to discuss ad nauseam their feelings about these men with like-minded men.
“Yes, they tend to pair bond based on the object of their affections. This pair bonding reduced their already limited chance of mating with a viable female.” When pressed for an explanation on this, Manning stated, frankly “heterosexual men who freely advertise other men’s prowess may have difficulty getting laid. Not enough women want to fuck these dudes for their species to survive.”